Ok, so our man Matt Hazzard was a big deal in the gaming world many years ago. Starring in several big-time, big-budget action titles that were incredibly successful. But after lending his name to too many second-tier titles and cart racers, Matt has fallen on the outs with a once-adoring public. Fortunately he made enough money to keep himself relatively happy. You see in this world, video-game stars are like actors, making hit games instead of movies (think of this as a "Last Action Hero" type game). But now, a new major game is being made and Matt has been asked to star in it and make a big comeback. Too bad, the creator has a major bone to pick with him and has no intention of letting him live through the making of the game.

Wink, wink, Matt Hazzard is an inside joke of a game complete with jokes about the industry and subtle (and not too subtle) jabs at various games and characters. The idea is a pretty good one and for the first 20 or so minutes, the jokes are actually funny. But after a little while the game begins to lose its luster, and this happens way too early for a game like this. If the developers want you in on the inside joke, then they need to keep the funny coming throughout the title and continually crack another video-game cliche by putting it on its ear.

 
"Ever wonder where they make the McRib sandwich?"

Now, there is some entertainment value here; our man Matt has to hack his way into the game since he finds out the story involves his death for real. Battling literally all of his enemies from previous games, Matt has to fight his way to survival. Now here, the game sounds like it could be funny and entertaining, and while there is a little of both, often, the game can't quite decide where to go. Its a muddled mess that doesn't flow properly for this to be a cohesive story about our hero. Sure, you shoot zombies and complete hand-to-hand combat scenarios against 70's era kung-fu experts, but the whole experience is disjointed and random.

Now Matt may be a big-time action hero in his world, but in our world he is somewhat of a big-time disappointment, I had visions of Serious Sam or even Duke Nuke'm floating in my head when I first got the title. Shortly afterwards I couldn't get "Fish" from Barney Miller out of my head (a really wimpy guy). I know that they got some actually talented actors to voice the characters, but it doesn't come together correctly. Funny lines aren't funny when you have part of the audio completely stall and witty thoughts are left unfinished. It may have had some more laughs, but the technical part of the audio simply isn't complete. Some average sound effects and a looping musical stream that gets so tedious.

 
"The salad bar features your choice of dressing... Ranch, Italian, Bleu Cheese and B negative."

Matt Hazzard had the potential to come up with some really good visuals, and yet again, a big disappointment. Ninjas, zombies, cowboys all should be fun to shoot at, and yet it isn't. The third-person perspective may remind you of the Gears of War gameplay, as you do cover fire and hide behind objects, but in all honesty, the A.I. in this title is so pathetic, I believe they are graduates of the Lemming school of survival. Enemies stand there as you repeatedly shoot them in the head. The competition you face is simply cannon fodder, there never seems to be any real danger. You walk into a room and they all stand there waiting for you to kill them. Very shoddy A.I. here. The environments also disappoint. For having jumped around to so many genres and periods, the game really has an unpolished, drab look about it. Even Matt himself isn't anything particularly fantastic.

Controling our hero could have been tightened up and made more challenging. Let me say this, if you are a Microsoft achievement addict, and you need to get a bunch of achievement points quickly, this is your baby. Achievements come fast and easy in this one. Its not even really fair to call them achievements considering how easy they are to get. More like softballs gently lobbed at you.

 
"I'm tellin ya, that fish was this freakin' big!"

Now the funny thing is, the developers actually had a viable idea for a game. But because they couldn't find a good rhythm for the gameplay and the whole thing was disappointingly unsure of itself, I felt pretty empty after playing. The game throws some different things at you in the beginning but quickly becomes a wash, rinse, repeat style formula and it gets old really fast. In fact, the game has two marathon gaming levels at the end you need to play in order to beat it.

Gameplay: 5.6
A muddled mess of different and unfullfilled ideas. The game makes you do the same thing over and over as the game goes on.

Graphics: 5.8
Some of the character models of the bad guys were nice, but then the others, the environments and even the A.I. really fall apart.

Sound: 5.2
Sometimes the audio quits mid-dialogue, weird. The sound effects are merely average and the voice actors' work is somewhat negated by the inability of the sound to actually work.

Difficulty: Easy
Its the easiest achievement game I have ever played.

Concept: 5.5
The idea behind the game is eerily like the movie "Last Action Hero;" coincidentally, that movie was a flop.

Overall: 5.4
A game I wanted to like but it slapped me across the face and called me "Imelda" due to its poorly implemented ideas and less-than-fleshed-out possibilities.